On the bridge along the Percival's Island Trail.
Ashlyn texted me last night that a boy from a nearby high school committed suicide. He was the victim of bullying. Schools say they have zero tolerance to bullying but that's not true. A friend of mine has a high school age daughter. She went to the other high school in our county. For 2 years she was bullied daily by the same group of girls. My friend was at the school almost daily to talk with the principal about these girls constantly tormenting her daughter. They just ignored it till one day my friend's daughter had enough and turned on one of her bullies and attacked her. Then of course the school was interested in this. Not with the bullies though, they were more so interested in my friend's daughter and suspended her for fighting. The bullies walked away. My friend's daughter had to change schools to get away from the abuse.
I hate bullies.
Here's 5 facts on bullies:
1) Over 3.2 million students are victims of bullying each year.
2) 1 in 4 teachers see nothing wrong with bullying and will only intervene 4 percent of the time.
3) 1 in 7 students in grades K-12 is either a bully or a victim of bullying.
4) Over two-thirds of students believe that schools respond poorly to bullying, with a high percentage of students believing that adult help is infrequent and ineffective.
5) Harassment and bullying have been linked to 75 percent of school-shooting incidents.
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Sad, sad statistics - and even more sad, it rarely ceases after school years end...though adults behave differently about it. I wish more action were taken among the young. I'm so sorry for your friend and her daughter, how terrible.
ReplyDeleteSuch a sad thing to happen to a young person as it can affect their self esteem for ever!
ReplyDeletedon't get me started on bullies ... i totally disagree with the mean folks that do it & won't stop. i wish i could find a way to help in the right way ... i have been thinking about that for ever & ever. i was picked on in school & even today. but now at least i don't let it get me down. because i know better. & i know it is the person who has the problem or issue, not me. i prefer being positive, lifiting folks up, & making them feel they can face the world. because i know how tough it feels & is. you have a wonderful weekend. keep that smile.
ReplyDeletei had to go & re-read to see i thought you said something about "locks of love" meaning i thought you cut your hair??! oops .. i get ya now. my bad. ( :
Oh Tanya this makes me so sad it was bad enough when we were kids but now with the internet it is brought home right in to the place children used to feel so safe and the place they could escape to. We have to do something. A very important message Tanya. HUG B
ReplyDeleteTanya, this is a problem that the school system seems to ignore. The more we all know, the better the problem can be addressed so thank you for posting this.
ReplyDeleteI remember very well being bullied in elementary school. Only we didn't call it that then. In fact, we didn't call it anything. The school administration pretty much ignored any behavior that happened after official school hours even if it was on school property.
ReplyDeleteHow sad for your girlfriends daughter, the victim is punished much as they can be in the courts. Why is bullying so rampant and why is it that so many school officials refuse to get involved? A while ago we watched a documentary on high school bullying. The TV crew was even able to film the unsupportable behaviour, still the school was reticent to do anything about it, the airing of the documentary changed that still the young girl and her family felt forced to move to another village, drastic solution.
ReplyDeletebeen there as a mom and people don't realize that it affects the whole family...community even. so sad for kids who cannot get help from adults.
ReplyDeletesocial media makes it impossible to escape tormenters.
ReplyDeleteSo sad about your friends daughter. I don't understand why schools don't get involved when they know bullying is going on.
ReplyDeleteSerious conversation going on here, but let me first say how much I like your photo. I love those converging lines going off into the distance.
ReplyDeleteI don't know if bullying is worse than when I grew up, but it does seem to me that the internet has permitted it to be easily amplified... and lasting. I wish I knew what the answer to it is. I would like to think if I were a parent in this situation, I would confront the parents of the bullies. Easy to say.
Thanks for this post, Tanya. It's an important issue that a lot of schools give lip service to but don't do anything about. That's sad about the young person who committed suicide and about your friend's daughter. I know what it's like to be "picked on" (that's what people used to call it) and it's devastating.
ReplyDeleteVery interesting statistics! And the story about your friends daughter sounds all too familiar. I don't know when schools will figure out how important this problem is and do something effective to help. It seems as though it's only going to get worse with the addition of social media.
ReplyDeleteOh that is so horrible. Such a sad, sad situation. Bullying definitely is such a huge problem, especially now with all the online bullying. I don't know how kids today make it through school unscathed. Apparently many of them do not.
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ReplyDeleteBullying sucks and should not be tolerated...ever. It is so sad when it come to such a terrible end. I wish kids could see that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. But I know they deal with so much.
ReplyDeleteGreat post, Tanya. Don't these lessons need to be taught at home, too, though? Bullying is prevalent in our society, from Wall Street bullies down to puffed up managers at McDonalds. When you live in a macho society, macho is all that counts. We need to be a nicer nation on all levels.
ReplyDeleteNow that bullies are using FB, it's a lot harder to hold schools solely responsible. Blaming schools is easy. They are easy targets.
ReplyDeleteI think the net's kind of amplified the problem, but bullying has always been there.
ReplyDeleteI remember one bully who tormented me in grade seven. The last day of school, I'd had enough, and knocked him unconcious. The principal saw it... but simply told me he'd had it coming.
Working in a middle / high school, I am aware how bad bullying gets. I'm also aware that with social media, it is so much easier to get away with it. Your post came from the heart and is well appreciated.
ReplyDeleteI don't think "Bullying" is right at all and I do think that schools tend to ignore it. Coleen often comes home and says that she is being teased by kids in her class but the kids doing the teasing claim that she's lying so the teacher basically does nothing because she doesn't know who to really believe.
ReplyDeleteI do however think that kids need to let some things not upset them so much. I mean in High School I had guys "bark" at me as I walked by because they consider me a (dog) in the looks department. I certainly wouldn't have killed myself over that or shot them for saying it. I just learned to ignore it and eventually they stopped.
I don't want to jump to the bullying issue without expressing my sympathy to the family of the young man who committed suicide.
ReplyDeleteIt seems that bullying gets more attention now. I wonder if there is more of it or more attention to it.
Poor thing. There is not tolorence for it here. Here we have parents who bully our teachers. And they wonder where their kids get it from.
ReplyDeleteIt is so sad :(
ReplyDeleteTragic. When I went to school, I had the preppy girls make merciless fun of me. Then my kids each had a "bully" to face up to.....my daughter in the 80's, my sons in the 2000's....good support at home.....love at home....and at least one friend at school to turn to.....they need that. I'm certainly not implying that this child didn't have support at home....and I realize that the computer has made bullying much worse. But, if these kids can overcome the taunting and bullying, they grow up to be compassionate adults. I know my kids took up for other kids who were being bullied because of their own experience. It's so sad some kids fall through the cracks though and feel like they have no one to turn to.
ReplyDeleteAt a high school north of here, some kids have started an anti-bullying club. They even made the local news. I think we, as a nation, need to pray for our youth and then try to be there to support them as much as we can, whether as a parent, teacher, or neighbor.
I don't understand how this continues -- these schools need to take this more seriously.
ReplyDeleteThat is so sad.
ReplyDeleteIt is a real problem. Zero tolerance really is a lie.
ReplyDeleteI know of what you speak- I'm watching it happen to two that I love. Zero tolerance is a big crock.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry to hear of these horrid situations. I'll never get it. Never. I was bullied in high school and it was a terrible feeling. I can't imagine the kids that have to deal with it daily. XO
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